Week 1, run 3

I took friday to rest, and that was good. I had a run scheduled on saturday but that didnt happen. I hiked on saturday (7km), i did a lot of things on saturday, but of all the things i did, running was not one of them. Because of the 7km hike, i was ok with that. I told myself i had dont a lot of walking and that was good for my endurance and it technically was a workout, though at a different intensity level. I told myself, its ok, just commit to running on sunday and monday and all will be fine.

I didn't run on sunday. I did some fishing on sunday, and a small amount of hiking (not enough to count). I did a lot of junk food eating. I got a sunburn from being outside. I spent a lot of time helping someone out. But I was with someone for the day and I was not as in control of my schedule as I wanted. I missed both running and an online webnar i had actually been pretty interested in attending. In short, Sunday I was really disappointed about a few things and i wasn't very happy about some others and, well, maybe thats enough said about sunday.

I did however run today. My pace is getting ever so slowly better. The temperature was the coldest I have run in so the asthma attack was worse this time. There is always a bit of an asthma attack, but when cold is one of my triggers as well...it just makes it a bit worse. I think I am doing well. I am proud of what I am doing - I am running all of my intervals and not stopping early. I am pushing myself and working to the point of being decently sweaty and a little short of breath but still mostly able to talk a few words at a time. This should be somewhere about 80% of my max, i think. I know its an intense workout for me. So I think what I am doing is pretty good for me, especially when you factor in the asthma, fibro, and fact that I am not in shape.

I did learn a few things this weekend though. The first is that if i want this to be a priority to me, I can't rely on anyone else to feel the same way or to make time or space for me to do what i feel i need to. That no matter how much a person supports me, if i dont force this time into the schedule, it wont happen and that i need to be more assertive about doing this. I learned more as well about what i need support to look like. I need support from my partner to look like allowing me the space to put the workout in the schedule. If I run with someone, I need them to tell me that yes, this is harder than it seems, not (after the first interval) that it isnt too bad. I was to be validated that yes, this isnt easy but it is worth it and that may mean someone agreeing about a difficulty level they dont experience. Ok, this, especially in the beginning, might be easier for other people. It isnt for me and i need to hear that echoed. I need the fact that I am starting this with a few strikes against me to be acknowledged and to be decently praised for doing it.

I will try running with someone again, even though my pace may slow them down. I am meeting with someone who wants to start the program to run with them on wed. But this time, I will be clearer about what I need from them and about my level of workout. I thought I had been, but with every step i learn something new. And thats ok, because I am improving and the race is truely only with my own body. And I sure dont mind running alone.