Week 2, run 1

I tried week 2 today and i guess you could say i survived, though that may yet be debatable. I ran/shuffled my way through all the intervals so thats good enough for me. And I took a friends dog, Grover with me - he showed that my pace was roughly that of a fast dog walk today. I also learned that I am not sure I love running with dogs - I love walking with them, and I for sure love this dog to bits but he stops to pee very often when i am just trying to keep moving. I think i need to give him a bit more info on the fact we are doing a couch to 5km!

Some days are about perserverance and doing it despite whats going on in life. Today was one of those days - in which the goal is just getting through it one step at a time, and nothing past that. Its been a fibro weekend in which i have done too much and my stress level is too high so I have been exhausted. Getting up and getting to the doggy to take him out was a bit of a stretch, let alone actually running.

My mind is in a million places right now, I am moving on Thursday and I am just plain tired. So did i run today? Yes. Barely, but that is ok - sometimes you just have bad run days and its important to accept them for what they are. Sometimes you have good days and thats great as well. The important thing is to keep trying and to remember that ultimately, you made the effort to move and that alone is a win.

Week 1, run 5

One of the reasons I started this blog was when i first thought about doing this I went online to find out if it was doable or had be achieved by someone with fibro. And, try as I might, i couldn't really find an answer to that question. OK, i knew whatever I found online wasnt going to be my final answer, only I could know if it was doable for me personally but I still wanted the insight that i might get from someone elses experiences. But other than questions, I couldn't find any tales of people learning to run with this disease.

So often, we are told things we can't do. Or questioned why we cant do x because "you dont look sick". I have heard both and neither makes sense to me. Lately, what i have been hearing about though is negative things about me attempting this. Reasons why I can't or shouldnt do it or just general put downs about making this attempt, thinly disguised as jokes. Some people dont even bother to disguise it at all. Is it envy because I am trying something another wouldnt think of? Maybe. Is it that others can't understand why I would even bother? I think there is some of that but honestly, I dont fully understand the problem.

First of all, to get to this point, I spent almost 6 months working up to this first run - to being able to walk/jog for half an hour and for most of that to be walking, only a cumulative total of 8 minutes jogging each time i go out. I went to bootcamp and to various exercise classes to get to this strong. I went on walks outside to get myself used to it. I didnt know when I started that I wanted to do a couch to 5k. I just knew i wanted to increase my fitness and work on managing this disease.

I have looked into the face of my future. I have seen people with my condition unable to function without assistance, unable to walk, cook or preform daily activities. And that future both terrified me and was something i wasnt willing to accept. I looked into the research of the best ways to treat and slow down the progession of this and study after study, paper after paper, everything came down to exercise. It isnt a cure, by any means, and medication is needed to support but the real differences in quality of life, in abilities, came down to exercise. So...Exercise I will, until i physically can't move anymore. Im running so hard from my future, literally.

I finished another run today, in the cold. I dont love the cold although you do sweat less. I am even getting to the point that by the time i think "please, dear god, let this interval be over" the magic little voice comes on at tells me to slow down to a brisk walk. So next week, I will move on to stage two and push myself harder. My pace might slow again, but at least i will be running longer. I can even actually sort of listen and pay a small amount of attention to my music now, not just have my huffing and puffing drown it out. And that, my friends, is progress.

Week 1, Run 4

Another day, another run down. I was supposed to show someone this plan today but they rescheduled on me. So I may or may not be running with someone on Friday, we will see. But I have known all along this is my journey, as it should be. I am doing this for myself and in a lot of ways it is easier not to be committed to doing this with anyone else - i can hit the road when i am ready and not schedule it too heavily other than the day. Today I ran earlier than ever because the weather is so ick i had to run while it wasnt raining and i didnt want to chance the early morning break being the only one we get.

I am at a cross roads. My pace is definately getting better and I know this is good, and with that I am assuming I am getting stronger as my recovery time is getting shorter after the run is finished. I am still very grateful for the 90 sec walk intervals. I can get through the 60 sec run intervals and only the last 5 or so secs of each one do i truely want to die. Does this mean next week I should start week two? This is where I am unsure.

The pros for this is i am getting better at this and I have taken a lot of itme off my original pace - over a minute. I could slow down to try week 2 next week. The cons are that i still am not finding week 1 easy. Is this supposed to ever get easy or just less hard?

I mean, I can always try week 2 then drop back down to week 1 if its too much. Which might be what I do. We shall see. For the moment, I am taking heart in the fact I am still doing this, and still improving and that has to be worth something. It is also teaching me the value of doing it for myself.

Week 1, run 3

I took friday to rest, and that was good. I had a run scheduled on saturday but that didnt happen. I hiked on saturday (7km), i did a lot of things on saturday, but of all the things i did, running was not one of them. Because of the 7km hike, i was ok with that. I told myself i had dont a lot of walking and that was good for my endurance and it technically was a workout, though at a different intensity level. I told myself, its ok, just commit to running on sunday and monday and all will be fine.

I didn't run on sunday. I did some fishing on sunday, and a small amount of hiking (not enough to count). I did a lot of junk food eating. I got a sunburn from being outside. I spent a lot of time helping someone out. But I was with someone for the day and I was not as in control of my schedule as I wanted. I missed both running and an online webnar i had actually been pretty interested in attending. In short, Sunday I was really disappointed about a few things and i wasn't very happy about some others and, well, maybe thats enough said about sunday.

I did however run today. My pace is getting ever so slowly better. The temperature was the coldest I have run in so the asthma attack was worse this time. There is always a bit of an asthma attack, but when cold is one of my triggers as well...it just makes it a bit worse. I think I am doing well. I am proud of what I am doing - I am running all of my intervals and not stopping early. I am pushing myself and working to the point of being decently sweaty and a little short of breath but still mostly able to talk a few words at a time. This should be somewhere about 80% of my max, i think. I know its an intense workout for me. So I think what I am doing is pretty good for me, especially when you factor in the asthma, fibro, and fact that I am not in shape.

I did learn a few things this weekend though. The first is that if i want this to be a priority to me, I can't rely on anyone else to feel the same way or to make time or space for me to do what i feel i need to. That no matter how much a person supports me, if i dont force this time into the schedule, it wont happen and that i need to be more assertive about doing this. I learned more as well about what i need support to look like. I need support from my partner to look like allowing me the space to put the workout in the schedule. If I run with someone, I need them to tell me that yes, this is harder than it seems, not (after the first interval) that it isnt too bad. I was to be validated that yes, this isnt easy but it is worth it and that may mean someone agreeing about a difficulty level they dont experience. Ok, this, especially in the beginning, might be easier for other people. It isnt for me and i need to hear that echoed. I need the fact that I am starting this with a few strikes against me to be acknowledged and to be decently praised for doing it.

I will try running with someone again, even though my pace may slow them down. I am meeting with someone who wants to start the program to run with them on wed. But this time, I will be clearer about what I need from them and about my level of workout. I thought I had been, but with every step i learn something new. And thats ok, because I am improving and the race is truely only with my own body. And I sure dont mind running alone.

week 1 Run 2

Needless to say I was sore all of today. Thats was more than expected though. But, looking at my schedule and knowing i wanted to get three runs in by saturday - and that i work tomorrow and besides that have a fairly physical day planned out in terms of gardening, today was day 2 for me. It was cold enough here i went out in a sweater - except for when i went out for the run because boy does that make me sweaty. I feel a lot like the cartoon - huffing, puffing, sweating and not exactly the prettiest thing to look at. But isnt that the point of doing a couch to 5k? That you start off as couch (potatoe im assuming is the implied image) and end up somewhere where you could never imagine yourself being?

I really didn't want to go out today. It was cold, I was sore, I'm still lazy LOL. It took me a nap before i was even ready to do it but that is not unexpected either. And I keep thinking, this far into my journey back to health (this isnt my first step) I should take a picture to see whats changed as there was a picture of me taken near the beginning of the year that was a bit of scary to see. You know the one, the candid shot where someone has caught all the worst parts of you and you look at it and can't believe you look like that?

So the message of today is that I did manage to complete this run. My pace was even a bit faster although it sure felt a lot slower today. My app/gps system says i went further and moved faster and i will trust the system for now. I even didn't die during the run though at points it sure felt like it. Jogging and wondering "when will this minute end?!?!?". I'm doing this, I'm committed to doing this but....at what point does this become fun and lifestyle like?

Getting Started: my journey to C25K and Week 1, Day 1

Everyone has to start somewhere right? For me, Couch to 5K is a way to get stronger, convince my body that I am in charge. So although I am admitting at the outset that this is not going to be the promised 9 week journey to running a 5 k, its likely going to be decently longer if not doubled, i will get there. I am a little more overweight that i want to be (ok, a lot more), but have been making an effort to attend exercise classes and get a lot of walking in - minus the walk that ended up with a torn ligament. That one set me back a month and is part of what led me to decide to do this. I mean really, who falls and tears a ligament walking on pavement? The other factor was my schedule - its hard to make too many classes a week with a schedule thats all over the place so it made more sense for me to find things i could do at home. This is yoga, couch to 5k, and possibly, once i get adjusted to this, the drop 10 workout. We will see how i feel about that once i become more used to this whole idea of running for the first time in forever.

So i dont come to this without challenges. Asthma. Fibromyalgia (!). A recently torn ankle ligament that is not completely healed. A general laziness. A hatred of running - I thank a gym teacher in 8th grade for that, i was fine with it before him. A belief that i look REALLY silly running. A desire to do this anyways which I am hoping is ultimately going to be what gets me though.

But I am also setting this up to be smart in the beginning. I found an app for my phone that does the music thing, beeps when i need to change pace, tells me when im halfway done, etc, the whole nine yards. its , and although im only on the free trial part now, and part of it is paid, I will see how it works out. I may change. I also enlisted the help and support of some friends to kick my butt into moving when i dont want to. I hope.

So yesterday was the first day - and I did survive. I was sweaty, out of breath, but i did do all the running intervals and the walking ones as well. There wasn't a lot of difference in my pace, just my exertion level, which im ok with. Today, I am sore, some of which is in the weirdest places (I think my sports bra is not nearly supportive enough for one), and I may take some advil but I am still walking and depending on weather, considering if not attempting to do it all again today, at least going for a good long, push myself walk to try and get some of this stretched out.

Wish me luck!