Stress

Its been a stressful week here in my world. I did complete another 2 week 2 runs and even an extra week 1 run in there. So I am keeping up with it. If fact, this week the world wants to show me that I should work on committing to run as a solution to stress. I am not sure its working, but I do know that I am stressed out.

The latest in the line of stressful things is not mine to talk about, save to say I got some news that is currently adding osme anxiety to my life, etc, and well, I/we are dealing with it as best as is possible given everything.

The rest of it however is mine to share. I am exhausted from working the 3 jobs and juggling those hours. Somoene was also so kind as to share with me with me their head cold as if i really needed a virus at the moment and it is adding some difficulty to my life. I also had a fairly large fight with my boyfriend after he broke a promise to me. That was really tough and upsetting for a few days and im not completely over it to be honest.

Anyone fighting with this disease knows that stress really flares this diseas and I can tell you that is true. So running has been...well lets call it a challenge this week. I have had to reschedule my runs just to make it work but make it work I did. So that gets to be my success in what has otherwise been a bad week.

Change is afoot

Thats right! I started week two. This means 6 intervals of 90 seconds running, 2 mins walking, plus warm up and cool down. That is harder than it sounds, especially when you dont run until the evening when I am already tired and sore. But i did it. J suggested changing the route slightly (he came with me tonight) to that in one area there was less of a slope which seemed to help a bit. But no, i did not complete all my intervals. One i stopped a bit early (i had a wicked side stitch) and one i kept tripping over my own feet so i walked for a few seconds to reconnect with my feet.

I did notice another change as well - I caught site of my mostly naked reflection on a surface and you know what? I am less wide than i used to be. Which was nice to notice.

I am still having a number of people email me regarding this program im doing. Some from people who want to run with me (but none of whom have actually committed to running when push comes to shove, but i do understand that its hard to work out the scheduling) and some from people telling me that they think the program is hard and encouraging me. Encouragement is always welcome and accepted - its nice to hear and to use to motivate my sometimes lazy rear end to get out there and get moving. It helps to know that someone out there expects me to be doing this and to keep me accountable when i lack the willpower to do it myself.

On getting up early

I work - sometimes a lot of hours. And the kind of work I do is not easy on my body - alot of standing in one spot on hard surfaces, or mopping, or scrubbing. A lot of things that Fibro hates. So i know if i leave my run until after my shift, I wont physically be able to do it. If i want to run, I have to run before i work. I dont have a choice. For some days, this means setting my alarm early enough that I am able to get up, get moving, run, shower, the whole nine yards before I have to be at work.

It isnt my favourite way to live - i love sleeping in as much as the next person. But it is something that i have to do so I do do it. I have also found that early in the morning, especially on weekends, there is much less trafic which means i can run on the lawns or road as i need to without interferance. And it is cooler - which I am guessing for the summer time is going to be a big things.

This of course, is because I ran saturday morning. Early enough the garage sales were still setting up and early enough that I did not want to be functional, let alone running.

I may never be the kind of runner who gets up at 5 am to go for a long run because i love it that much and it is the greatest start possible to my day. I may however become the kind that gets out on the road at 7:30 am because I know i need to and well...thats enough for me.

On motivation

I meant to run yesterday but apparently there are only 24 hours in a day and all my 24 were booked up with things that were far more time sensative - like working, and running meetings and preparing for the above. So i got up today and sore from work (wednesdays i mop an entire hardware store. it takes 5 hours. it sucks). and i DID NOT want to run.

Also - the app i used did not want me to run apparently. It broke twice before i even got out of the parking lot and wouldnt time properly. It took a lot of trouble shooting to get it functional, But i went out and I did it. I ran - depsite the whole not wanting to and the app breaking things and sometimes, you do it against your own will.

I know its good for me, that it will give me the body i want and the strength and the cardio health i want. But the journey to get there? Sometimes it isnt fun. Im just saying.

Im back - aka another run

I'm back and no I didn't give up. I did however move, start 2 new jobs in addition to the one i have and attempt to live the lifestyle of the insanne. Basically I have to take a 2+ week break, in which i didn't give up exercising but rather got my workout in in the format of mopping, carrying boxes, scrubbing toilets, dancing and a whole bunch of other things. Sometimes you have to let life get in the way and just remember that if you are at least moving, than that is better than nothing. Sometimes there have to be priorities that are not running and after the effort of this move, I had to keep a couple of things to be more important than sticking with the program in the front of my mind. Like - having a place to live and unpacking enough clothes that i would not have to show up to any of my jobs completely naked. And possibly even buying enough food to feed myself every so often.

But i did go back to the program this week. And though I took a few steps back, I wasnt where I first started out at, even if I did go back to week 1 and again. In some ways, it feels as if i will never get out of week one but you know what? That still more running than I was doing a month ago and I am working hard on being kind to myself. Kindness is just as important and letting myself live the kind of life is just as important as working hard to get to the life i want.

I am also, now that I am in the new place, in a lot more control of my diet and that should be helpful as well. bring on the fruits, veggies and homecooked meals. In fact, in the aforementioned shopping, most of what we got was pretty healthy and a lot of raw ingredients. They say in a lifestlye change, 80% of the change you want to see in your body, your health and your fitness is controlling what you eat and I can believe that. So this month, that is also a focus on mine, know that any food changes i make I want them to be sustainable, lifelong changes.

Really the point of this is to change my whole life. To find the kind od fitness, health and balance I ultimately desire.

And always remember this quote “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.”